Feel Like Venting?

High-Achieving Women

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Feel Like Venting? You May Want to Think Again ... Literally

With all of the stress going on in our hectic lives, it's not unusual to feel angry and want to lash out at people, scream, punch pillows, or worse. In fact, a lot of people believe that this kind of catharsis or open expression is the best way to overcome angry feelings. Unfortunately, this is one of the most widespread social myths of our time (largely due to the legacy of Joseph Breuer and Sigmund Freud's well-known theory that bottled up anger is more harmful than expressed anger). It turns out that when put to the test, researchers have discovered that not only does venting not necessarily improve our psychological state, it may actually worsen it.

Yes, you read that correctly. Angry tirades, punching pillows (or anything else), and confrontation of the person we view as the cause of our anger doesn't necessarily reduce or resolve our anger; in some cases, it makes it worse (not to mention the regret we often feel after we do something rash). In fact, Brad Bushman, one of today's leading researchers on anger and aggressive responding, believes that "venting to reduce anger is like using gasoline to put out a fire--it only feeds the flame."¹

So if venting isn't the answer, what is?

1) Remove yourself from the situation. By physically removing yourself from the situation, you are giving yourself a chance to reflect and come up with a rational plan to address the problem. Staying immersed in the situation greatly increases the probability that you will react to the emotion and later regret what you did or said in the "heat of the moment." Walking away separates you from the "source" of the anger so that you're able to reflect, breathe, and calm yourself down. Of course, if the source of your anger is internal, then it's hard to "walk away" from it. But working out your anger--literally--is another great way to effectively release anger. An intense workout or any kind of physical exercise is a great way to release tension and negative emotions, in part, because exercise releases natural endorphins, which make us feel good.

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